Wednesday, October 29, 2014

God's plan; God's love

    Tonight I write with a heavy heart. I write because my brain is going about 90 miles per hour in every different direction. I write because it's 1:19 a.m. and I can't sleep. I write because I have a lot on my heart and I don't know any other way that I can get it off, I have tried everything... So, I thought maybe typing it out will do the trick.
       My heart is heavy for my dear sister and her family. I can't imagine what they are going through. I am literally at a loss of what to do because I can't do anything. I have prayed, thought about, sent text messages, sent song lyrics, sent bible verses but literally that feels like nothing. I wish so bad I could just make a wish and POOF I would be half way across the country in Minnesota with my sister Emily and her family. But, that isn't reality, so here I am in Georgia trying to comfort my family. From Georgia I send love. From Georgia I send prayers. From Georgia I send thoughts! I wish I could send hugs, and hand holdings! I love you Em!
     

    Tonight as I sit here in front of my computer and type all of my random thoughts down I can't stop thinking about God's plan. I can't stop thinking about what His plan is for my life, my fiance's life, our family's life, and just His plan for everything in life. I keep thinking how marvelous He is. He is with us through everything in life. His plans for our lives go far beyond what we can comprehend. His plan is what is amazing. He tells us that He will NEVER forsake us. He tells us that He will NEVER leave us. So, when trials come, when pain is near, when sorrow is in our lives, HE is there CARRYING us. His plan is so great, that He uses the sorrow and pain in our lives to touch others lives. He gives us trials and seasons to go through so that we can rely on Him; so that we can show others that God is so real, so alive, and so faithful. Though we may never understand His plan, we must trust and hold on to Him. If anyone knows about how hard it is to trust, it's me. Many times I wish that I could just know why things happen or why I am suppose to do the things He would have me do, or why sorrow and pain have to come into our lives, but as soon as I start opening my eyes, and looking to Him; He reveals exactly why things happen the way that they do. He shows me that though pain comes, His joy comes in the morning. He never ceases to amaze me with His plan. He gave me His life, so that I could be free, so that all of my chains would be broken, so that I could worship Him all my life FREELY, so that I could live eternally with MY Savior. He knows my plan, and how my life is suppose to play out, and I just have to rely on Him, put my trust in Him, and live my life serving Him to the best of my ability. God's plan for His children is so beyond awesome. We as His children may never understand His plan, but that is why it isn't our plan... because we would mess it up. We have the Perfect Sinless King in control. I can't even think about planning my life the way I would have it, because I am imperfect and sinful and would mess everything up. So, even though it's hard I am constantly reminding myself that GOD is in control! HE is ALWAYS near, and ALWAYS listens! HE knows our hearts, and loves us so deeply and endlessly.       I love the verse in Jeremiah... It's so cliche but it's so true. "`11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." It's so beautiful. He tells us HE knows the plans, the plans that help us grow and plans that don't harm us, He gives us hope and He gives us a future. He tells us that if we just pray to Him he will listen to our cries. He tells us that if we just seek Him with all of our heart that we will find Him!  It's just that He wants us to trust Him with all of our lives, to live our lives for His glory, because He deserves way more than I could ever give Him! His plan is Immaculate. WE just have to put our faith in him! 

     I have been thinking so much lately about God's GRACE. His Grace is so beyond anything I ever in a million years deserve. His grace is deeper than the ocean, is further than the East is from the West, and I am so unworthy of it, but He gives it to me daily. God's grace is so amazing. "He breaks the power of sin and darkness!" His love goes beyond anything we as humans could ever comprehend.   I get so frustrated because I am literally at loss of words for the first time in my entire life because I can't describe God's love and grace for us! IT'S UNFAILING. IT'S PERFECT. His love washes away our sin because HIS son DIED FOR US! JESUS WAS PERFECT AND DIED BECAUSE I AM IMPERFECT. and no my caps lock button works fine I want you to think that I am yelling that at you because YOU need to understand it just like I do!!! HE CONQUERED THE GRAVE! It's AMAZING GRACE, because you don't deserve the love that God gives us and I DEFIANTLY DON'T DESERVE IT, because I know I fail and sin EVERY DAY! BUT that DOESN'T matter because He LOVES us ANYWAY! Even though we fail daily HE LOVES US ANYWAY! His grace is so beautiful because without it I'd be doomed, but because He want's me to live eternally with Him, He gives me Grace EVERYDAY! He is so wonderful. I am so blessed to be able to worship THE God that loves me even when I fail. I am so Thankful for a God that loves me. 

         I pray that if you don't know the GOD I worship and serve I pray that you would just open your eyes to His grace. He loves you more than anyone could ever tell you! 

    But, that is all my rambling for the night.

    until next time- 
 Mrs. soon-to-be Matthew Steele

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