Thursday, April 16, 2015

A Heart So Full, A Mind So Busy... With Nothing To Write

       To say the least it's been a while since I have picked up my laptop to do this. Bare with me, for I may be a little rusty.
        Since the last time I wrote a lot of things have changed. I just haven't had the words to put on to the page. I am not sure I do now, but I will try. I do apologize for how lengthy it is, but it is worth the read, or for me at least it was worth the type and thought. I also apologize if there is anything misspelled I do not have the patients or energy to re-read it two more times, and one more thing...it may be kind of scattered so just bare with me on that too.... It is just how my brain is wired.

Well, first and foremost the biggest change has been that Matthew now (finally) lives here... So, what does that mean? It means NO MORE PLANE TICKETS to see each other... BUT, it does not mean no more plane tickets period. Why? You ask.  Because his family still lives 800 hundred miles away. Oh how I wish they didn't. As I type this I look to my picture with them and miss them more and more. As Matthew's relationship with me grew so did all of theirs, all different, all special, all mine. They are now not only Matthew's family, but they are MY family. We have been through so much together already, laughs until we cry, and cries until we laugh, that about sums that up perfectly except one detail I am leaving out is how much LOVE is shared with and through OUR family. We love to love. I guess I can be done with this biggest change, except I haven't even told you how awesome it is to have Matthew living down here! It is very different. It is something I have dreamed of for about 3 years now, to just be close to him! But as one challenging door closes the next one opens which, by the way brings me to my next change.

Talk about a change. I went from a waitress to a youth minister/secretary. What a wonderful change that was. When Matthew moved down here I had just quit my job, and he obviously had just quit his. I knew that it was just God telling me it was time to look for something else. As I quit I thought I had the job with an insurance agency, little to my knowledge I did not, and God had bigger plans for me... (doesn't He always). We also thought that Matthew had a job with UPS, which again he did not... But God surely TAKES care of us! We were both starting to get a little antsy not having jobs, not having our income, not knowing what we were going to do for money or a job considering we were fixing to get married in 8 months (Now it's only about 3!)  Well, I had starting cleaning the church my dad pastors, and I was there all the time, that lead to me helping out any way that I could. Our youth pastor left our church so there was the spot that needed to be filled. Through lots of prayer and patients God opened that door for Matthew and I to come in and love so deeply on the students at Waco Baptist Church. I always think about when I was a part of the youth as a middle schooler, or freshman and I think about how much fun it was to be there so that is what Matthew and I are striving for. We want this to be a place that our students want to come and somewhere that they enjoy being at. So, as of now the good Lord is using my future husband and I to minister to these kids and it's so wonderful! He always has bigger plans, we just have to trust Him!     Matthews job came while we were visiting his family in PA. The week before we left is when we had planned to go up and surprise his mom. which is something I will never forget.   The Tuesday before we left to go to PA, my dad and I were sitting in the living room talking about how I really wanted to take a trip up to see his family and for him to see his family since it had been about 2 months of him living down here. My dad the good man that he is told me that we should go now before the both of us have jobs and can't take off all the time. So, I went back and talked to Matthew about it and so it was settled, we would leave that Sunday morning to drive up to PA. We told everyone in his family except his mom and obviously Faith ( his younger sister). I remember his mom asking us both what we were doing throughout that Sunday drive and our reply was that we were doing something for church.We finally got there and quietly went down to the basement and waited for his mom to come down even though it took his dad (Moose) to go get her, she finally came... The look on her face was so good, it was like an overwhelming love... as I think of it my eyes fill with tears but at least they are happy tears! To be able to see that look again will be the best. She was so surprised and so shocked that she didn't believe that we were actually there! It was so neat to be able to share such a special moment. I'd give anything to be able to do that again! anyway, back to Matthew's job. when we got there that Sunday evening we sat down to dinner and wouldn't you know he got an email that night asking if he could come in to work that Tuesday. We weren't leaving until Thursday so his CURRENT boss told him that it was fine and to just come in on that Friday. So, to have a God that will allow you to travel 800 miles to surprise someone who needed a good surprise and then supply a job right when you needed it is so awesome... I often wonder how someone can honestly look at the world around them and all the great things of this life and not know that there is a God who loves them! So, with all of this being said change is good! Matthew is working a full time 9-5 job, and I am working a full time job and we are both loving what God is allowing us to do. 

   Another thing coming up that is fixing to change is my last name. In three short months, come August 1st I will no longer be Kelli Shadrix, I will be Kelli Steele. As the wedding gets closer and closer I can't help but to get more and more excited. This relationship has been such a journey and this short chapter of our lives is coming to an end, but the next chapter will be so full of adventure, love, laughter, and yes, some challenges but I know that God will see us through each and every wonderful and every awful challenge we will have to face. May 2nd I am having my first Bridal Shower, and I am so excited, nervous, but excited. Matthew's Our family is coming down that weekend and I absolutely can not wait to see them all. It is so neat to be able to share such a wonderful day with them. I have no doubt that it will be filled with nothing but so much love.  It is so crazy to think I am getting married so soon. The wedding planning is going good, I know that I could never make it without some of the best women I know helping me through all the little details and all of the major details. My mom is a rock when I know I couldn't be and Stephanie & Carla Dickinson well I firmly believe they are my fairy Godmothers! I couldn't do this planning without them! They are doing everything that they can to make this day so special for Matthew and I. I am forever grateful for these ladies!         

I am wrong about not having the words to say, I suppose I just needed to start typing it out. I don't want to miss anymore stories that I may have in the future so I will have to write more often.

    As my eyes grow heavy and my brain is starting to shut down I thank God for change and for all the things He is doing in my life. I praise Him for all my blessing He has given me and all the doors to opportunities He has ready for me. He teaches me everyday something new to praise Him for. He blesses me beyond measure and I fully devote my life to Him, so that He may use me and my family for His glory, because HE deserves ALL the glory! 
 
 With a full heart and  a love for God
                         Kelli really-soon-to-be Steele <3

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